Jesus the counsellor
Many Christians are rightly suspicious of the counselling movement because of its humanistic bias. However, counselling in principle embodies an entirely biblical and wise principle: it is helpful to talk to people who are experienced in enabling us to see the truth about ourselves and our situations. Jesus was an outstanding counsellor in this respect. He possessed the three great qualities of a counsellor to a unique degree.
Firstly, he knew himself perfectly so that he was able to speak with perfect wisdom about the human condition. He was an unfallen human, but a human nevertheless, who knew tiredness, sorrow, tears, the pain of early bereavement and the tragedy of betrayal by his friends. He knew himself through his relationship with God. We can only imagine the perfect self-knowledge that came to Jesus through never having to shrink from the light of God’s gaze upon his soul. He knew himself through temptation. He was tempted ‘in all points’.
Secondly, Jesus knew the hearts of others with perfect insight. He knew his disciples, such as seeing Peter’s impetuosity. He saw through the rich young ruler and was able to expose his most fundamental problem.
The third essential quality in Jesus was his compassion. There is an old American Indian proverb often quoted in counselling courses: ‘You cannot understand another man until you have walked in his moccasins’. Counselling jargon calls this empathy. The biblical word for it is compassion: to feel with rather than for the other person.
The practice of Jesus
Jesus’ counselling can be seen in some key moments of his ministry. Perhaps the most powerful example is in the Sermon on the Mount, where he addressed so many issues of the heart with perfect wisdom, dealing so poignantly with such things as sexual temptation, adultery, hatred, worry and fear. I have often returned to his teaching when contemplating how to speak into the lives of damaged people.
Any of Jesus’ encounters with people would yield a harvest of examples about Jesus as a wise counsellor, but in the space available for this article only a handful must suffice.
The Canaanite woman (Matthew 15:21-28)
This woman came to Jesus obsessed by the sickness of her child. She came to him as a miracle-worker because she was convinced that an evil spirit was at work in her daughter’s illness. Jesus intends to go to ‘the heart of the problem, the problem of the heart’. Therefore, he does not respond to her ‘presenting problem’ directly, but rather appears to put her off. As a result, she is brought to see a deeper need – for herself to receive mercy and not just her daughter (v25).
The woman of Samaria (John 4:1-42)
Jesus identifies here with the woman by employing a shared need. They both need water from the well. Jesus is breaking down a barrier between them that is religious, racial and sexual. This barrier would have prevented her from being open with him, so it must be removed. Good counsellors offer themselves as fellow-travellers on the human road rather than self-conscious experts in life.
The rich young ruler (Matthew 19:16-22)
In this encounter Jesus demonstrates his ability to ‘read’ a person’s inner motives. The young man presents himself as a devoted seeker, but Jesus perceives that there is a stumbling-block in his wealth. This he confronts gently by a question that brings the youth to see his situation, rather than simply telling him the truth.
Peter’s recovery from denying Christ (John 21:15-19)
Peter had denied Christ in a maelstrom of hypocrisy, blasphemy, fear and impetuosity. Some, no doubt, would have said that Peter’s usefulness was finished. He certainly thought so, and took up his old occupation as a fisherman. Jesus intends otherwise, but he deals with Peter with remarkable patience. Firstly, he blesses Peter’s fishing work, affirming his worth where Peter still feels some for himself. Then he receives from Peter and eats with him, not coming as a judge but a friend. Then he takes him for a walk on the beach, finding a suitable place for a quiet and relaxed exchange. Finally, he three times gains Peter’s affirmation, answering to the three denials. The empathy, tact, wisdom, insight and love of Jesus for Peter is overwhelmingly clear in this event, all of these qualities being great examples of what made Jesus the great doctor of souls that he was.
One great difference between Jesus and modern counsellors
Jesus unashamedly led people to spiritual issues about themselves. Even Christian counsellors might hesitate to be so determined to include this dimension in their work. We must learn from him that human need and spiritual need walk hand in hand. Rescuing people from crisis may heal the moment, but only rescuing people from sin can truly heal the heart.