Taming the Tongue
Grace Notes February 2003
The following is an adapted extract from ‘The Practice of Piety’ by Lewis Baily. Subtitled ‘Directing a Christian how to walk that he may please God’, it is a book whose practical godliness is full of relevance for us after more than three hundred years. As James reminds us, the one who masters his tongue masters himself (James 3:2).
- Remember that thou must answer for every idle word: that in
multiloquy [much speaking] the wisest man shall overshoot himself.
Avoid therefore all tedious and idle talk, whereof seldom ariseth
comfort, many times repentance. Especially beware of rash answers,
when the tongue outruns the mind. The word was thine whilst thou
kept it in: it is another’s as soon as it is out. O the shame,
when a man’s tongue shall be produced a witness, to the confusion
of his own face! Let then thy words be few, but advised; consider
whether that which thou art to speak is fit to be spoken. Affirm no
more than what thou knowest to be true; and be rather silent, than
speak to an ill, or no purpose.
- Let thy heart and tongue ever go together in honesty and
truth. Hate dissembling and lying in another, detest it in thyself,
or God will detest thee for it. And if once thou be discovered to
make no conscience of lying, no man will believe thee when thou
speakest the truth. But if thou lovest truth, more credit will be
given to thy word than to a liar’s oath. Great is the possession
which Satan hath in those, who are so accustomed to lying that they
will lie though they get nothing by it themselves, nor are compelled
to it by others. Let not thine anger remain, when thou seest the
cause removed. And ever distinguish between him that offendeth of
infirmity (or against his will) and him who offendeth maliciously,
and of set purpose. Let the one have pity, the other justice.
- Keep thy speech as clean from all obscenity as thou wouldst thy
meat from poison. And let thy talk be gracious, that he that hears
thee may grow better by thee. And be ever more earnest when thou
speakest of religion, than when thou talkest of worldly matters. If
thou perceivest that thou hast erred, persevere not in thine error.
Rejoice to find the truth and magnify it. Study therefore three
things especially: to understand well, to say well, and to do well.
And when thou meetest with God’s children, be sure to make some
holy advantage by them. Learn of them all the good thou canst; and
communicate with them all the good thou knowest. The more good thou
teachest others, the more will God still minister unto thee.
- Beware that you believe not all that is told you, and that you
tell not all that you hear. For if you do, you will not long enjoy
true friends, nor ever want great troubles. Therefore in accusations
be first assured of the truth, then censure. And as thou tenderest
the reputation of an honest heart, never let malice in hatred make
thee to reveal that which love in friendship bound thee a long time
to conceal. Though thou hast many acquaintances, yet make not any
thy familiar friend, but he that truly fears God. Such a one thou
never needest to fear. For though thou should in some particulars
fall out, yet Christian love, the main ground of your friendship,
will never fall away.
- Make not jest of another man’s infirmity. Remember thine own.
Abhor the frothy wit of a filthy nature, whose brains having once
conceived an odd scoff, his mind travails (as a woman with child)
till he be delivered of it. If thou be disposed to be merry, have a
special care to three things:
First, that thy mirth be not against religion
Second, that it be not against charity
Third, that it be not against chastity.
Then be as merry as thou canst, only in the Lord.
- Rejoice not at the fall of thine enemy, for thou knowest not what
shall be the manner of thine own end. But be more glad to see the
worst man’s amendment than his punishment. Christ loved thee when
thou wast his enemy: by the merits therefore of his blood he
requireth thee, for his sake, to love thine enemy. Though thou
thinkest thine enemy unworthy to be forgiven, yet Christ is worthy
to be obeyed.
- When the glory of God, or the good of thy neighbour doth require
it, speak the truth and fear not the face of man. The frown of a
prince may sometimes be the favour of God. Neither shall flattery
still hold in credit, nor truth always continue in disgrace.
- Ever think him a true friend who tells thee secretly and plainly
of thy faults. He that seeth thee offend, and tells thee not of thy
fault either flatters thee for favour or dares not displease thee
for fear. Miserable is his case, who when he needs hath none to
admonish him. Reprehension never does a wise man harm. For if it be
true, thou hast a warning to amend: if it be false thou hast a
caveat what to avoid. So every way it makes a wise man better, and
warier.
- Speak not of God but with fear and reverence, and as in his sight and hearing. Pray with David, when thou art to speak in any matter that may move passion, Set a watch O Lord before my mouth, and keep the door of my lips (Psalm 141:3).